An Unhappy Start

...to an important day. Today is Pinuki's eighth birthday. It is not happy so far. She is bleeding profusely and most likely will spend the day at a vet's office. I have pulled out all the sheets and other floor coverings to capture as much blood splatter as possible. There is blood on my slippers, legs and arms. I did not have it in my heart to push her away - not on her birthday. It always seems to hurt her feelings. She is used to open arms.  Dr. Saylor is on vacation and I am waiting to hear from Dr. Maniet. Hopefully, we can get in to see her. I am where I feared we would be. Nuki needs medical care and I cannot pay for much beyond the basics. What am I suppose to do? The irony is, even if I wanted to (which I don't) or needed to (which is not necessary at this point), I cannot even afford to euthanize her. Dr. Saylor said to return to half the amount of Doxy and add the Clindamycin. I am starting that today. Please, please whatever you do - pray, think positive thoughts - whatever, do that now and often. Pinuki is the gentlest, sweetest, most loving soul. I am doing everything I can think of to help her through this and remain calm. Unless you have experienced this, you have no idea how impossible that is. I have cancelled work appointments for today to attend to, and be with Pinuki; losing income I need to generate, now more than ever. Just when I think my heart can break no more it does. After two hours, the bleeding has finally stopped. I am grateful for the smallest of "victories."